Im back!! Well, sort of…
One of the biggest reasons that I have not blogged for the last four months is that my world has been completely turned upside down (or should I say, right side up) by one certain amazing individual. I am here to, both repent of my lazy lack of blogging, and to make an attempt at justifying it. If I fail in the latter I will have the former to lean on.
Where have I been? Well, I have been having the great privilege of watching two souls collide into one. And what an amazing thing it has been. Despite my total weakness and inadequacy in life, God has brought the most visible and undeniable reminder of his love and grace right into the center of my undeserving life.
It is difficult to describe in words the power of the unconditional love and presence of an individual; the deep and affectionate commitment of a person who knows you in all your strengths and weaknesses. With every passing day I am blown away by the way that she has deepened and expanded my life on every imaginable level.
Its as though life was black and white and all of a sudden it become colorful; or as though life was flat and two dimensional and all of sudden it became 3D. What is it that changed? Why is life so different, and seems so much more rich? I think that it goes back the principle that John Piper points out that our joy in anything is multiplied when it is shared. This is also in line with the biblical truth that it is better to give than to receive.
I have been so blessed in the past few years by all the specific ways that God has shaped and formed my life and character; in every trial there was always something that left the imprint of Christ more visible in my life. Now, as I have the amazing privilege of sharing this with another person – the joy of the life of Christ in me is expanded times a billion.
Through this whole process I am a completely different person. As this amazing person comes into my life and grips me at the very deepest parts of my soul, sharing all her beauty with me, the experience is a transforming one every time. I don’t deserve to have such blessedness and joy. It is joy unlike anything I have ever experienced. As C.S. Lewis describes – it is a solemn joy; a deep and penetrating joy that brings the whole soul into wonder at the beauty of that which it is beholding.
More than ever, I am inspired to live and to grow in the work of Jesus in my life; I want to give her as much as I can but I know that I cannot offer anything on my own, except for that which Christ has worked in me.
Her name is Liya Khizhnyak and she has brought the reality of love into my life.
My dear, I love you very much and I can’t wait to build a life together with you!