These past couple of months have been a whirlwind. I’ve been working more hours than ever. In the small amount of time that I have off I have been attempting to push my schooling to a close, in addition to church work, home chores and spending time with my amazing little family. These seasons of intense work and limited time have come on more frequently over the past 18 months. I guess this is a part of growing in maturity of perspective – we start to see more and more important things that we need to invest our lives into.
As I have mentioned before this is a good kind of challenge. Although at times exhausting, it is an enriching and fulfilling kind of exhaustion. In addition to this, it is also bringing me more and more aware of the finitude of my humanity.
The more good things I see around me the more I see how unable I am to meet all the needs and opportunities that surround me. The world is a great big booming carnival and I am just a small kid with a balloon and one of those, all access bracelets. It is a task far beyond my capacity to properly take it all in. It all looks so good and so important. Where do I even start? How do I make sure I make the right choices? What if I miss a crucial opportunity? What if I make a big mistake? The music and rides and neon colors almost start to get a bit intimidating..scary even.
There is, I think, only one way to really live in peace among all the blinking lights and attractions – the infinite-personal God. Ultimately, he is in charge. I cannot contain the chaos. I cannot rise above it and make perfect decisions. But he does. In him, all things hold together and he is before all things. He is the head of all creation. He calls it out and it follows him. This vast and crazy swirling mass I call the universe is actually one great dance. His epic masterpiece.
Even though it is often far beyond me, my place in it is not. His call to me is not to take control, to be omniscient or to rise above it. His call to me is to follow him daily. To let him paint his pictures, rouse the nations, shake the earth and calm the seas.
This is the source of me sanity and my peace. Let God be God. Let God be my God. Every day is a gift. It is his project. I will give my all; let myself be spent on the great things he sends my way. I will have to leave much undone but I know that he won’t. Most importantly, I will enjoy the dance.